Be Loyal to Those Who are Absent

Stephen R. Covey
July 1994

Being loyal to those who are absent and assuming good faith
of others are keys to building trust in a culture. The ultimate
test of principle-centered leadership is to be loyal to people
who are absent when their names come up in conversations
and meetings. When other people are not with you, they're in
the dark they don't know what's happening, what you're saying
about them, and whether you are loyal to them. And that's when
you show your true character. That doesn't mean you're not critical.
You could be critical. But you're constructively critical and
loyal to the point that you would not be ashamed if they happened
to overhear the conversation, or if word got back to them,
as it often does. You don't just sit on the sideline cutting,
labeling, and stereotyping people and then look for evidence
to support it.

TRUST

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships.
When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship.
Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates
anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in
separation.

A telephone operator told me that one day she received
a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board."
There was silence. She repeated, "PUB."

There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off
the line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry,
I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not
know whose number it is."

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to
the couple if the telephone operator answered with
just "hello" instead of "PUB".

The Crush of Envy

An incident is related in Greek history of a wrestler who was so envious of
Theagenes, the prince of wrestlers, that he could not be consoled in any
way. After Theagenes died, a statue of him was erected in a public place.
His envious antagonist went out every night and wrestled with the statue,
until one night he threw it over. The statue fell on him and crushed him to
death.