Dear Mr. Bean

BRAIN TUMOR:
Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?
Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!

..:@:..

MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me,
you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!

..:@:..
WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:

Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!

How Much Land Does A Man Need?

By Leo Tolstoy (1886)

This is one of the best short stories I have read
Read it on line here

It is about discontentment, greed and its consequences.

=====
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

How Much Land Does a Man Need? is an 1886 short story by Leo Tolstoy about a man who, in his lust for land, forfeits everything, including his own life. Late in life, James Joyce praised it as the greatest short story ever written.
Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.
After slowly accumulating more and more property, a greedy Russian peasant visits the Bashkirs upon hearing that they are practically giving their land away. They offer him as much land as he wants, provided he can walk its perimeter in one day. The peasant agrees and goes out on his trek but when the sun starts to set, he finds he has walked too far. Running back, the peasant collapses at the starting point just as the sun disappears behind the horizon. The Bashkirs try to congratulate him only to find him dead. In answer to the question posed in the title, the Bashkirs bury him in hole six feet by two feet.
Anton Chekhov, one of Tolstoy's greatest admirers, retorted: "It is a common saying that a man needs only six feet of earth. But six feet is what a corpse needs, not a man.... Man needs not six feet of earth, not a farm, but the whole globe, all of nature, where unhindered he can display all the capacities and peculiarities of his free spirit."

7 Cadbury Chocolates Contaminated by Salmonella?

Just in case you received a text message saying that Cadbury chocolates are contaminated by Salmonella. If you have other sources to the CONTRARY, please say so... in a nice way, ok?
===
Cadbury Recall Update
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/medicalnews.php?newsid=46810
July 8,2006
...
The Agency issued a Food Alert relating to the Cadbury Schweppes recall on 23 June 2006 and an update on 30 June. The 23 June alert provided details of the products being recalled. These are:
-- Cadbury Dairy Milk Turkish 250g
-- Cadbury Dairy Milk Caramel 250g
-- Cadbury Dairy Milk Mint 250g
-- Cadbury Dairy Milk 8 chunk
-- Cadbury Dairy Milk 1kg
-- Cadbury Dairy Milk Button Easter Egg 105g
-- Cadbury Freddo 10p
==
other sources you might want to check out:
BBC NEWS UK Cadbury salmonella scare probed
http://health.dailynewscentral.com/content/view/2327/

Superman All Dressed Up!

Just when we thought Superman would never change his costume...

Truck Art

Wedding Ring on the Fourth Finger

Why the wedding ring should be put on the fourth finger?
Pls follow the steps below.

First, show your palm, centre finger bent and put together back to back
Second, put the other 4 fingers of each hand tip to tip.

Try to open your thumbs, the thumbs represent parents, they can be opened/separated because one day, our parents will leave us or we will leave our parents.

Join your thumbs again, then open your second fingers. These represent brothers and sisters. They will also have their own families and will leave us too.

Now join again your second fingers, then open up your little fingers. These represent your children. Sooner or later they too will leave us for they will have their own life to live.

Nevertheless, close up your little finger, and try to open your fourth fingers on which we put our wedding rings. You will be surprised to find that it cannot be opened/separated at all. Because they represent husband and wife. In marriage, they are intended to be together for life.

• Thumbs represent parents
• Second fingers represent brothers & sisters
• Centre fingers represent own self
• Fourth fingers represent you and your partner
• Little fingers represent your children

Real love will stick together forever and ever.

Selecting the Right Candidate for the Right Job

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.

Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation.

If they are counting the bricks. Put them in the accounts department.
If they are recounting them. Put them in auditing.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks. Put them in engineering.
If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order. Put them in planning.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other. Put them in operations.
If they are sleeping. Put them in reception
If they have broken the bricks into pieces. Put them in information technology.
If they are sitting idle. Put them in human resources.
If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved. Put them in sales.
If they have already left for the day. Put them in marketing.
If they are staring out of the window. Put them on strategic planning.
And then last but not least......

If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved.
Congratulate them and put them in top management.